Starting Daycare

Leah's first day of daycare was on Tuesday and while I think the little Peanut fared well, her mom did not.

First day of school photo.

The plan was for BA to drop her off in the mornings and for me to pick her up in the afternoons, but for her first day I wanted to go with BA to drop her off.  But I couldn't handle it, I had to let BA take her by himself.  And as he was walking out the door I started to cry my eyes out.  This is so much harder than I thought it would be. 

When I picked her up, she looked safe and clean - I guess I can't ask for much else.  She was asleep in the swing.  I think she's going to spend a lot of time in the swing, which is okay, I guess.  I mean, she's a baby; she doesn't do much else.  I really can't expect the teachers to hold her and interact with her as much as I'd like them to.  I just feel sad, and very guilty, when I walk in to pick her up and I see her sitting there, asleep, in the swing because I know that's probably where she spent most of the day.  I think things will improve once she can sit up because then she can sit at the big table with the other little babies and she can play on the floor more.  I know the teachers are busy and have a lot of babies to tend to, but I just expected a little more interaction.  And the teachers are all very nice ladies; they seem to really know what they are doing, but even still, I just don't feel great about it.

Every day this week, I left for school in the morning thinking that I would stay after class on campus to get some work done until 5 p.m. and then pick up Leah from daycare.  And every day so far, I haven't.  I've decided half-way through the day that I don't want her just sitting there and that I miss her too much.  So I leave right after class and run to get her.  I don't get any work done when we get home because I want to spend that time interacting with Leah, doing tummy time, and playing with her - because I'm just not convinced that she gets much of it at school.  I'm still hopeful that daycare will become a positive experience for us all, even if it's not quite the experience I wanted, it's just going to take some getting used to.