Why I'm Glad I'm Going to Be a Lawyer and Not a Doctor

Because unless you are a defense attorney, you never have to give someone a death sentence.  Doctors, on the other hand, routinely have to give people life or death news.  Lawyers are paid to find solutions.  Doctors are paid to find problems.  I know this generalization isn't entirely fair, and I have extreme respect for doctors because there is nothing harder than medical school, but lately I've had my fill of doctors peering into my womb via an ultrasound and looking for problems -- and I'm sick of it.

I have been going to 2 different OB's since 20 weeks.  There's my regular OB, and then there's "Scary Doctor."  I was referred to a high-definition ultrasound OB at 20 weeks to do a routine screening.  Usually these screenings are fun, you get a 3D picture and everyone leaves happy.  It was anything but.  That doctor, who I now call "Scary Doctor" determined that my baby was not growing fast enough and that one of her brain ventricles was "a little big."  It was right at the high end of normal (10 millimeters is where the normal range ends - most babies are around 5 or 6 millimeters, ours was right around 9.8 millimeters).  Scary doctor suggested a round of extra testing to determine if there were severe brain defects.  We opted for the testing.  I googled "enlarged brain ventricle" when I got home and was immediately terrified by the worst case scenarios that filled the internet.  So of course I panicked and cried for 3 days straight.  Even when the initial testing came back normal, Scary Doctor would not leave me alone.  Every 3 weeks I had go back in for re-testing and Scary Doctor would measure, and re-measure the baby's brain ventricles on the ultra-sound.  It was torture to sit there on the examination table, watching the numbers climb closer and closer to 10 millimeters as the Doctor measured the right ventricle.  Luckily, the ventricle did not continue to grow, and ten weeks later Scary Doctor finally concluded that there was nothing wrong with my baby's brain.  But unfortunately due to this ventricle non-issue, I think I was put on a high-risk track that seems impossible to get off.  I still had to go to Scary Doctor to measure the baby's growth, and this past Friday, Scary Doctor found something else to be "concerned with."  Now she says my amniotic fluid levels are low and that the baby is still behind in growth.  So Scary Doctor put me on bedrest and I am going back to the doctor's office twice a week for fetal heart monitoring.

This means that I cannot take my Evidence class that I was planning on taking over the summer, and that I will spend the majority of the next 2 months either seated at home or at Scary Doctor's office.  The positive side is that the baby is being watched with a very close eye (a high-definition eye to be exact) and if there are any problems we will know about it.  The negative side is that there has been a lot of unnecessary worrying going on around here for the past 2.5 months and that I will probably go broke paying parking fees at Scary Doctor's office ($15 dollars for 2 hours!).

Luckily, I went into Scary Doctor today and they actually said that everything looks fine.  Yes the amniotic fluid was on the low side, yes the baby is a little small, but overall Scary Doctor was not that concerned.  And the little Peanut was moving around and kicking like crazy, which helped my theory that she is perfectly fine and is being over-scrutinized by a bunch of Beverly Hills doctors and their fancy high-definition technology.  She started kicking so hard I thought she might kick the fetal monitor right off me!  She's pissed at all these tests too!  And then she got the hiccups for about 10 minutes, which I could hear through the fetal heart monitor.  So cool.

This pregnancy has been one heck of a roller-coaster ride.  Morning sickness for the first 16 weeks, happiness for the next 4 weeks, terror for the next 10 weeks, and now bedrest and constant doctor's visits for the final 10 weeks.  I'm so ready to meet the little Peanut and get away from all these doctors who are just looking for something to be wrong.