Baby Kicks and Baby Lips

Since I've been put on bedrest I've also had to count fetal movements (baby kicks) after each meal.  The Peanut is supposed to move 10 times in the first hour after I eat otherwise I head to the hospital.  But I've found that the Peanut sometimes goes comatose after meals.  At 2 a.m. she's kicking up a storm, clearly having her own baby dance party, but at 7:30 a.m. after breakfast she just wants to sleep.

Today it struck me that I really do live in La-La-Land, as evidenced by my drive into Scary Doctor's office this morning.  I start on the 405 interstate (think OJ Simpson's car chase) drive down Santa Monica Blvd, merge onto Wilshire, cross Rodeo Drive and finally pull up to Scary Doctor's office in Beverly Hills.  

Today's appointment was fine.  Scary Doctor didn't see anything wrong today!  I cherish these good-news appointments because for a while there I didn't get much good news from the doctor.  I got another partial picture of the baby today.  Scary Doctor can never quite get a full 3-D picture of her whole face (the Peanut is modest) but I've gotten little pieces over the course of all my visits.  The most recent pictures show a little baby with very big lips!  HA!  I'm talking Angelina Jolie lips!  It looks like she's puckering up.  It's pretty cute and I guess I'll just have to wait until she comes out to see if she really does have big lips.  Less than 8 weeks until due date and I'm so excited! 

The RDC Fan Club

Often times my blog will receive comments from "RDC."  I am big fan of RDC and I want to introduce you to her.  RDC is my sister.  She decided to go by the call letters RDC which stand for BA's nick-name for her,  Rubba Dub Chubb.  BA will also occasionally shorten it to just Chubbsey.  You have to understand that my family loves to joke around with each other and we appreciate a healthy dose of sarcasm.  (My sister will call BA "Champ" or "Broski").  So these nick-names for my sister, implying that she has substantial girth to her waistline, couldn't be farther from the truth.  I mean, have you seen my sister?!?!  My dad would describe her this way, "she's so skinny she could stand underneath a clothesline in a rainstorm and not get wet."  And weighing in at about 100 pounds, it's quite possibly true.     

My sister had planned a trip out to LA to visit us this weekend.  She called this morning to tell me her flight had been canceled because of bad weather in Dallas, but that she was working on getting on another flight.  She spent 2 hours on hold with the airlines this morning and finally got on a flight that left out of an airport 45 miles away from her home airport, and that it would get her into LA a day late.  She'd already made arrangements with work to stay in LA for an extra day.  She's so great.   

Anyway, this post is a tribute to her, because I miss her and I love her and I wish she didn't live 3000 miles away.  Here is RDC, soon to be known as the Best Aunt in the World once Peanut arrives.

RDC - the best sister in the world.

Scary Doctor Poem

Scary doctor, scary doctor

Here today but not to stay

Scary doctor, scary doctor

Time to go and scare another.

For we need not fear, Mom, Dad and me

Your staring, counting and figuring, you see

Cuz small is good, less to scare

I'm tough as nails and won't tip the scales

So bye bye, Dr. Scare, tah, tah 

to the three week visits we shared

We all have better things to do

Mom, Dad, and me, Peanut, too.

-Written for Peanut Aaron 4/21/11

 (*Poem written by my mother in response to my visits to Scary Doctor)

Why I'm Glad I'm Going to Be a Lawyer and Not a Doctor

Because unless you are a defense attorney, you never have to give someone a death sentence.  Doctors, on the other hand, routinely have to give people life or death news.  Lawyers are paid to find solutions.  Doctors are paid to find problems.  I know this generalization isn't entirely fair, and I have extreme respect for doctors because there is nothing harder than medical school, but lately I've had my fill of doctors peering into my womb via an ultrasound and looking for problems -- and I'm sick of it.

I have been going to 2 different OB's since 20 weeks.  There's my regular OB, and then there's "Scary Doctor."  I was referred to a high-definition ultrasound OB at 20 weeks to do a routine screening.  Usually these screenings are fun, you get a 3D picture and everyone leaves happy.  It was anything but.  That doctor, who I now call "Scary Doctor" determined that my baby was not growing fast enough and that one of her brain ventricles was "a little big."  It was right at the high end of normal (10 millimeters is where the normal range ends - most babies are around 5 or 6 millimeters, ours was right around 9.8 millimeters).  Scary doctor suggested a round of extra testing to determine if there were severe brain defects.  We opted for the testing.  I googled "enlarged brain ventricle" when I got home and was immediately terrified by the worst case scenarios that filled the internet.  So of course I panicked and cried for 3 days straight.  Even when the initial testing came back normal, Scary Doctor would not leave me alone.  Every 3 weeks I had go back in for re-testing and Scary Doctor would measure, and re-measure the baby's brain ventricles on the ultra-sound.  It was torture to sit there on the examination table, watching the numbers climb closer and closer to 10 millimeters as the Doctor measured the right ventricle.  Luckily, the ventricle did not continue to grow, and ten weeks later Scary Doctor finally concluded that there was nothing wrong with my baby's brain.  But unfortunately due to this ventricle non-issue, I think I was put on a high-risk track that seems impossible to get off.  I still had to go to Scary Doctor to measure the baby's growth, and this past Friday, Scary Doctor found something else to be "concerned with."  Now she says my amniotic fluid levels are low and that the baby is still behind in growth.  So Scary Doctor put me on bedrest and I am going back to the doctor's office twice a week for fetal heart monitoring.

This means that I cannot take my Evidence class that I was planning on taking over the summer, and that I will spend the majority of the next 2 months either seated at home or at Scary Doctor's office.  The positive side is that the baby is being watched with a very close eye (a high-definition eye to be exact) and if there are any problems we will know about it.  The negative side is that there has been a lot of unnecessary worrying going on around here for the past 2.5 months and that I will probably go broke paying parking fees at Scary Doctor's office ($15 dollars for 2 hours!).

Luckily, I went into Scary Doctor today and they actually said that everything looks fine.  Yes the amniotic fluid was on the low side, yes the baby is a little small, but overall Scary Doctor was not that concerned.  And the little Peanut was moving around and kicking like crazy, which helped my theory that she is perfectly fine and is being over-scrutinized by a bunch of Beverly Hills doctors and their fancy high-definition technology.  She started kicking so hard I thought she might kick the fetal monitor right off me!  She's pissed at all these tests too!  And then she got the hiccups for about 10 minutes, which I could hear through the fetal heart monitor.  So cool.

This pregnancy has been one heck of a roller-coaster ride.  Morning sickness for the first 16 weeks, happiness for the next 4 weeks, terror for the next 10 weeks, and now bedrest and constant doctor's visits for the final 10 weeks.  I'm so ready to meet the little Peanut and get away from all these doctors who are just looking for something to be wrong.

Daycare

We picked out a daycare this week.  Of course the guilt kicked in.  How could I leave my child in daycare?  I never thought I would be a daycare parent.  My mother stayed home with me and my sister full time and I felt so guilty that I'm not doing the same thing for my daughter.  I really admire stay-at-home parents.  They are the best option, hands down.  But I don't really have a choice if I want to finish school - and I do.  And after that I'll need to work to pay off my student loans, not to mention it will be time to use this uber-expensive law degree and make a career for myself.  In this economy, a dual-parent income is almost a necessity.  So I have accepted that hired child care will be a reality for me.  My ideal child care set-up would be for the baby to go to Grandma's house during the day.  And perhaps in the future when we move back east we can have a more individual set-up with a nanny or a family member watching Peanut.  Unfortunately that's not an option here in California.

So we needed to find a place that would keep the Peanut safe, healthy, and loved.  This year is a good introduction into daycare because Peanut will only be enrolled for part of the day while I'm at school, and she'll only go 3 or 4 days a week on the days I have class.  So I feel good about our fall schedule, but unfortunately, there aren't many daycare centers that even accept infants.  I found lots of preschools accepting children age 2 and up, but not many infant care centers that were convenient for us, within our price range, and that didn't scare me. 

We ended up with 3 possibilities.  The first was a Montessori school, with the highest prices.  The babies were all in one room, with cribs lined up along the side wall.  They also took children in that class up to 18 months which I didn't like.  I don't want children walking all over my 2 month old.  I think BA walked away from our tour in shock and a little depressed.  I've worked in daycares before as summer jobs, so I knew what to expect and honestly, the Montessori school was perfectly fine.  The teachers all seemed nice and the babies seemed happy, but I don't think BA was prepared for how impersonal daycare can seem.

The second place was located in a neighborhood and the infants were in their own building.  They had three rooms for different play areas - one room was for babies that could sit up and move around a bit, another had a table with highchairs for eating, and a final room had swings for naps, and tummy time mats for the littlest babies.  All the rooms were connected with 1/2 walls and there was a crib room in the back that was a little darker and quieter than the other play areas. 

The third place I almost didn't tour because we walked in the front door and there was a sign at the front desk that said "Peanut-Free Zone."  I thought, Well we can't go here!   If they don't want the little Peanut, then we don't want them!  Joking aside, it felt like a baby assembly line.  It was the least expensive option and I'm sure it was fine, the babies looked happy, but it just didn't feel homey or warm.  It felt institutional, with florescent lighting and the babies all lined up to eat. 

So we are going with the second school and I'm very happy about it.  I think Peanut will be safe there and I think she'll be loved.  It's the best I could possibly feel about giving my baby over to a stranger for the day.

BA's Corner: Real Men Wear Pink

Ever have those moments where you know instantly that your life has changed? I've had a few of those recently. I thought one would be looking at the result of the pregnancy test: "Pregnant." Not really.

Nope. I knew my life had changed instantly when I tested out a stroller in Babies 'R' Us. Instantly. With the first step, I knew I was a changed man. I thought to myself, "Here we go." Bring on the next chapter.

Here are some others:

• Seeing my wife go through morning sickness. Yep, times changed.
• Realizing there was nothing I could do to help. A worthless feeling.
• Hearing the baby's heartbeat for the first time. Very cool.
• Seeing the baby on the ultrasound monitor. Cool, but I couldn't tell what I was looking at. (Still can't).
• Words like "amniotic fluid" and "placenta" becoming a routine part of my vocabulary. Not cool, but really pretty fascinating.

After I got married a few years ago, I gradually discovered that the easiest way to get a "Hey, you look nice" is to wear a pink shirt. Not sure why, but it works every time. And let me tell you...it took years for me to feel comfortable in a pink shirt. I still think twice before putting one on for work. I mean, if I looked like Brad Pitt, it'd be different. But I kept telling myself, "It takes a real man to wear pink!"

Now, I'm sure every guy who finds out he's having a girl is a little defiant of the oceans of pink in his future. I was too. I mean, c'mon....it's pink! Then as we were looking through the linens at Babies 'R' Us, it hit me. Why go for the purple? Own it. We're having a girl, there's no denying the pink parade. Bring it on. Don't try to fake everyone out with purple...that's weak. It's a girl...we're going to have pink. Buy some stock in Pepto-Bismol and don't look back.

Real men wear pink, so I hear.

BA's Corner: The Road Less Traveled

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

***

Many roads diverged in a smoggy, hazy horizon

And sorry I could not travel all (at least at first)
And be one traveller with a curious mind and a beautiful bride, long I stood (though not too long, because Sallie Mae was calling)

And looked down one as far as I could through risk analysis models and many long talks with the career center
To where it u-turned, exited, and sloped suddenly up and down the hills;

Then took the other, as just as fair, though scared but self-convincing
And having perhaps the better claim in my head because of the potential of the unkown,
Because it was long and lead to a rainbow;
Though Roswell, NM was on the path there
She would not let me deviate from the 7-day journey west, for we had massages ahead.

And both that morning equally lay
The Penske no boxes had been left within

Oh, I kept the comfort of our known surroundings for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I wondered if I would ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a cheer
Somewhere ages and ages hence, or next year:
Many roads diverged in a haze, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference in my long commute, thin pockets, and lack of happiness.