BA's Corner: ZZZZ

You know you need some sleep when you start asking yourself where you can take naps while getting other things accomplished.

For example, I pulled up to a stoplight the other day. As soon as my car came to a stop, I immediately thought to myself, "I'll probably be here for a couple of minutes. I wonder if I can squeeze in a nap? I'm sure if I roll into the middle of the intersection, somebody will let me know."

The lines are blurred these days. I'll wake up and think Leah is still on top of me, or that AA just asked me to wake up and hold her for a few minutes while she uses the restroom. Over the next 15 seconds of wake/sleep/dreaming/confusion, the situation will rapidly deteriorate until the Peanut has vanished into thin air, fallen off the bed, or disappeared into the sheets. Before I can live my life again, I'll have to rush out into the living room to make sure that AA still has Leah and it was all a dream. So far, it's always been a dream. Whew!

The truth is, Peanut, you're worth every sleepless minute.

Nana and Papa's visit

BA's parents, also known as Nana and Papa, came to visit last week to meet Miss Leah.  We are extremely lucky that BA's mom, Nana, agreed to stay on with us for the next 4 weeks and watch Leah while I'm in school.  This way, Leah won't have to go to daycare just yet, and she can stay safely at home until she's been immunized at 2 months.  Peanut loves her Nana, and would happily spend all day sleeping in her arms if she could. 

BA's dad, Papa, decided that Leah needed a piggy bank and he told us he was ordering her a bank and would bring her some change to put in it.  I expected that he'd bring a couple of coins, but Papa brought about a gazillion quarters, nickles, and, dimes - it's practically enough to start her college fund ;)

Papa swapping investment strategies with the Peanut.

Leah thinks this is a comfortable way to nap.

Awwww.

A Comparison

BA took Leah to her appointment with the real pediatric GI yesterday.  I couldn't go because I had school.  The good news ... there's no permanent damage being done due to her reflux and she doesn't require further treatment.  The bad news ... her symptoms are a combination of colic and acid reflux and there's really nothing we can do about it except try to make her comfortable for the next 3-6 months until she outgrows it.  The doctor said that her symptoms are considered "normal" in a small percentage of babies and that we just got unlucky here and will have to wait it out.  So basically, BA and I have given up on the idea of getting her to sleep at night without being held.  We've decided to create an overnight schedule and go back to taking shifts holding her all night.  Even though this means I'll be lucky if I ever get more than 3 hours a night, it's also a relief to just quit fighting it.  There is satisfaction in just accepting the situation as it is, and moving on.  We'll be sleep-deprived, but hopefully happier because we now know there's really nothing we can do about it except wait.

On a lighter note, I got some sleep last night because BA decided to stay up and work late (while Leah was strapped on him in the baby carrier - at least she'll sleep this way so he can get some work done around the house).  Then BA's mom took over holding Leah at 5 a.m. so I only had to wake up for about 45 minutes in the middle of the night to nurse her.  It was great!  I think when you combine it, I got almost 6 hours of sleep!!! 

And just for fun, we took some Daddy-Daughter photos of Leah at 6 weeks in comparison to a photo taken of me at 6 weeks.  What do you think?  The nurses at the hospital all thought that newborn Leah looked like BA, but I think she's starting to take after her mom :)

AA and her Dad at 6 weeks --- Leah and her Dad at 6 weeks.
(click to enlarge)

Lost It

Tuesday afternoon we had an appointment with a pediatric gastroenterologist for Leah's reflux.  I spent the entire day at school, exhausted, but hopeful that we could get some answers that afternoon at the doctor.  After nearly falling asleep in my last class, I jumped in the car and sped down the highway to the doctor's office.  BA and Leah met me there.  I checked in at the front desk, filled out the routine paperwork, and we were called into an examination room.  The doctor came in and BA and I began listing all of Leah's many reflux symptoms: she is constantly clearing her throat, making grunting noises, she cries in pain when she's on her back, she prefers to be on her stomach, she will wake for no reason screaming, she arches her neck and pumps her legs when she cries, she won't sleep peacefully for very long and needs to be held vertically, etc.  Once we felt we had sufficiently told the doctor her symptoms, he looked up from his notes, and said, "Okay, but I'm a cardiologist, so what can I do for you?" 

My heart sunk so fast.  As it turned out, our insurance company website had mis-labeled his office as a pediatric GI.  I was so sleep-deprived I didn't bother to notice that the header on the top of the intake forms I was filling out said "cardiology."  BA said the receptionist who made the appointment didn't bother to mention that reflux was not a condition they treated.  He did notice the sign on the door said pediatric cardiology but he thought maybe it was a combined practice.  And neither of us thought twice when the nurse took Leah's blood pressure (it was normal, by the way).  On the ride home, I lost it.  I sobbed because my baby girl is still in pain.  I wept because I'd gotten my hopes up that we might find a solution today.  And I cried because I'm tired.   

6 Weeks

Leah is 6 weeks today.  6 weeks is some sort of baby milestone.  I have a baby book that says at 6 weeks babies begin extending their nighttime sleep.  Yeah right.  Not my child.  Actually, I think that if we didn't have the acid reflux to deal with, she probably would be able to sleep 4-5 hours straight right now.  I'm kind of ticked that there really is no solution to this problem except to let her outgrow it.  That could take another 6 months!  That's a lot of sleepless nights ahead of me and a lot of discomfort for little Leah.

But aside from her sleeping challenges, Leah is excelling in a lot of ways.  Just yesterday she was laying on my chest and she lifted her head to look at me and held it up for a good 10 seconds.  Then she relaxed for a couple of seconds and she did it again, and again.  She is so curious.  She spends all of her awake time with the widest, biggest eyes, just taking in everything around her.  Her little fists have started grabbing my hair and holding on very tightly, and I think yesterday she discovered that she has a hand.  She was flailing her arms around, and then all of a sudden she focused on one of her hands and her eyes got huge like she was thinking, "Whoa! What's this attached to my arm?!?!"  Still not sure if she's aware that she has 2 hands yet.  She recognizes her mom and dad, and she still loves the bath.  And she is the sweetest most adorable little baby ever. 

6 weeks is a major milestone for me too.  I go to the doctor today for the first time since I delivered.  This is the point where I will be declared officially "recovered" although I've felt fully recovered since about 3 weeks.  And today is also the beginning of a new school year ... my last school year to be exact ... but more on that later ...

Baby was born to ride.

New Sleeping Arrangements

Leah's acid reflux remains a problem.  On Thursday we desperately called the doctor, again, to ask for another appointment and another prescription.  She is now on Prevacid and we are feeding her every 2 hours so her stomach doesn't get over full and cause excess spit-up.  However, we think (hope, pray to Jesus, Mary, and Joseph) we've found a new sleeping solution that works!  I hate to get too excited because it's only been 1 night, but last night Leah slept on her own, without being held by either of her parents.  We purchased a sleeping wedge that keeps her propped up on a 30 degree incline.  This is supposed to help reflux babies sleep by using gravity to keep the acid in her tummy.  This thing is so funny - we have to strap her into it with Velcro so she doesn't slide down and then BA and I sleep on either side of her.  I had never planned on co-sleeping - she was supposed to sleep in a bassinet for 3 months, then graduate to a crib - but this is the only thing that seems to work.  And because she is elevated and not under the covers, I'm not worried for her safety.  We still have to wake up every 2 or 3 hours to feed her but that's a heck of a lot better than what we were doing - taking shifts to stay up all night and hold her.  She loves being next to mommy and daddy and this way we can hopefully all get a little simultaneous sleep.

A closer look at this contraption ...

And a cute picture of Peanut just for fun ...

 

Granda's visit

I should write an update of how Leah is doing with her reflux, but honestly I am so discouraged and exhausted that I just don't feel like it today.  So instead, I'm going to post on a much happier subject, and share some pictures from my Dad and Wanda's visit last week. They were such a huge help to us ... they took a couple night shifts during particularly bad nights, Wanda cleaned our apartment for us and made meals, my Dad repaired my turn signals and front headlights in my car, and the biggest help of all, just holding Leah and playing with her.

Here's Leah with her Granda and Nana Wanda.

Leah and her Granda.

Watching the golf tournament on TV.  Leah looks like she's had one too many ... bottles of milk, that is.

We also took Leah on her first trip to the beach.  There's this local seafood restaurant called Malibu Seafood Company and it's one of my Dad's favorites when he visits.  It's outdoor dining at picnic tables so we could take the Peanut along with us.  After dinner we stopped to take a few photos on the beach.

In Malibu.

Peanut asked for a moment of private reflection before we left.